BRO-mance in the air...

hey guys,
Life has always been about the decisions we take.Well in my case it has always been about the stupid decisions I take.My decision of staying outside hostel didn't have any solid reasoning besides being a little more than annoyed with lack of freedom. It's one thing not to want something, it's another to be told you can't have it. I guess it's just nice knowing that you could someday do it if you change your mind. We all make stupid decisions, but life at times is funny and sometimes a little magical. It can take a stupid decision and turn it into something else entirely.

Past two months have been the most blissful months of my life.To begin with enjoying inter-college cultural fests,spending diwali back home with family and friends ,easing out throughout my exams,making friends with a dog who just happened to give birth to three puppies and all sorts of other fun stuff.My roommates have evolved to more than just friends.We feel like bros who set out to taking life and turning it into a series of crazy stories reaching a new dimension every time.Well from seeing your buddy in his ugliest best ,wretched hair and morning face, to rarely calculating finances because you know it will even out eventually ,to dreaming and making plans of getting rich together in the night.From career advice to love advice, they do it all for me.They are the best late night horror movie partners .The very act of planning out any stuff is quite enjoyable,chaotic and never ending.Abusing each other with the dirtiest, silliest, craziest and creative gaalis with a smiling face all through out the planning process and doing weird things together like to try inviting demonic spirits etc.Some days, we quarrel too. And stop making eye contact or talk.But I can’t imagine continuing for more than a few hours (or minutes, maybe).

While my previous post was about not changing yourself,I think now that life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.Five years ago I was a kill joy and a very private person but now as you see I am a completely different person who just happens to look like that guy. Five years ago Atmesh,he was pretty great. But present Atmesh… he’s amazing.So here's the thing about stupid decisions ,even though it is stupid you have to take it anyway because it would be more stupid  to not make the mistake, because then you'd go your whole life not knowing if it was really stupid.

A stupid pointless blogger

MR AWESOME

Hey Guys,

This post is about I just being ME and loving MYSELF. Over the last few days and I guess in some ways all through out my life, I realized from time to time, I was trying to be someone else, I was trying too hard to change, I was telling myself if I did this like how he does I would seem more classy. Yes, things happen in life that change you, experiences you have make you grow but at no point should you force yourself to be something or someone. At no point should you ever feel what you are ,is lesser than what some one else is at it.

We are constantly surrounded by amazing people. Our friends, our family, our special ones, all beautiful people inside and out. They are great and you love them because of the person they are and think about it they love you because you are the way you are. If you are trying to be someone else or trying to be them, it's no good because that somebody is already taken and the only person you can truly honestly be is you. You need to love you, you are just how you were meant to be and you with your perfections and imperfections makes the world around you better and different.

What does this mean? Atmesh, why are you saying this? Well ,I realized that I had started doing something a lot, that honestly was not something anyone should ever do. I started pushing myself down and started apologizing for who I was. I told myself, Atmesh you speak a lot you are probably annoying, Atmesh you are too unemotional sometimes, Atmesh stop hugging people all the time it can suffocate them, Atmesh start working out people will like you better if you had abs. Well you get the point. Anyway so doing this made me insecure and question in someways the very basis of who is Atmesh?

And then after a while, I was like this is bullshit. I freaking love myself and I am awesome. I have people around me that love me just the way I am and I need to see the good things about that. If I didn't talk as much I would be a bore, if I wasn't unemotional I wouldn't have my rationality, if I stopped hugging people I missed being hugged and hugs are pretty awesome. I don't need to be sorry or insecure of who I am. This is me and it's always going to be me.

So yeah, I just wanted to tell you guys, having insecurities is normal and to sometimes not exactly love the person you are is normal too. But every time you feel that way you have to constantly remind yourself of the people you have around you and all the amazing things you have done because I am what I am. Alright I'll end this rant now but remember

I AM AWESOME. I AM KIND.I AM PERFECT. I AM UNIQUE. I AM WHAT I AM and
YOU love ME.

Love,
A freaking fantabulous and exceptionally awesome blogger.

Walking the rope...

hey

The concept of time has eluded me always.There have been instances like the time when I lost someone dear for the first time ,it seemed longer than my entire childhood and there have been times when i taste success which seem fleetingly an hour long ...not long enough perhaps.This entry is coming at  one of the confused phases of my life when I would just give up on everything and let things happen.

Well to begin with I didn't actually ace my exams as i had expected.For the amount of work you put in if you don't get what you deserved it hurts real bad.Teachers too haven't been appreciative about me lately. On the better side i spent the weekend back in Chennai roaming around the city which just happened to celebrate it 375th birthday.Travelling the length and breath of the city ,the most magical moments were at the beach.Even though I prefer  being called a "Mumbai Waala" the city has always been very kind ,generous and affectionate to me.

One of my best buddy is moving out of India and as a farewell I dedicate these two lines from E E Cummins's classic work  "I don't know what about you closes or opens,Only a little part of me understands."All the best buddy.I will miss you big time.love ya.

 Life is like a tight rope where I have to keep balancing myself , while I begin to lose myself to the people I love and people who love me.I would keep this entry small. Through out the see saws of life with all the ups and downs standing up to people's expectations and interpretations about what you should do , as you try doing what you wish to ,accepting all the dissent you need to pull up a balanced act while walking this rope.You might slip but do not fall for you have a part to play in this world.

confused blogger 

The Friendship Algorithm

hey guys

This post was going to be my first entry since friendships day was just around .Well I remember I got my first friend at four.A boy of my age came by.We were in a sand bed.I had a shovel and this guy had a bucket.We eventually had to team up to build what I would call a fairly good enough house. Therefore friendship isn't something that is voluntary  it happens whether you planned it or not just like destiny.

Well with friends you never go where you thought you wanted to go, but you always got a great story. That's probably the best part it is not about the odds, it is about believing and you just gotta take the leap.Also any experience in your life  you don't really know if it's a mistake because the only way to really know it's a mistake is to make the mistake and look back and say 'yes, it was a mistake' or simply have great friends who act as friend philosopher and guide all throughout.

According to me the only thing that could really heal a broken heart was time.But now i think it wouldn't be wrong if i add friends to it.We spend so much effort trying to keep parts of our lives hidden, even from our closest friends, but in those rare times when we do open up, it's amazing how minor those secrets all end up being.

" Doesn’t mean you're right  and I'm wrong"situation is so priceless.It starts with the most simple and the meaningful arguments , then the story is followed by idiotic ones ,dumbest ones,insane ones and from "har ek friend zaroori hota hain"it turns to "har ek friend kamina hota hain".

The littlest thing like friendships can cause a ripple effect that changes your life.We struggle so hard to hold on to these things that we know are gonna disappear at some time .But  then throughout the see saws of our life ,one thing that is not gonna disappear is friendship.So hold on to it because as the most awesome person on this planet says "anything you do in your life is not legendary unless your friends are there to see it."

A Friendly Blogger

Where Were We...

hey guys

I know I stopped blogging randomly...lost??hiding??NO.Well last two weeks have been quite a topsy turvy one.It is always difficult to follow a good week with another decent one.Packed with emotions ,i decided to make this blog entry differently.

Excitement:The week started of with regular classes and on Tuesday i got my first surprise package.It was from my sister for raksha bandhan .The special thing about packages and gifts is that they give you a feeling about being loved and cared and that to someone in some part of the world you matter a lot.She sends it every year.I love u di.

Contended:Preparation for exams was a pretty important and hard task specially because the interesting subjects became drab and uneventful eventually. As for my exams ,for the amount of dedication i showed this time i probably aced it above my standards.Results are due next week.(fingers crossed).

Helplessness: It sucks when you need someone and you can't have them there with you. It sucks even more when you can't be there physically for the people that you love. So yeah people that I hold really close to my heart just were having rough days or weeks and nothing I could do apart from talking to them could make it better. I can't wait for the day when I don't have to feel that way at least not this often.

Touched: Nothing feels better than people telling you they love you and a heart to heart sometimes just makes everything around you better. I found some real deep conversations with people here as well as was pleasantly surprised by the impact I had on a friend I haven't spoken to in a long time.

Happy:I taught my roommates how to play cards and just spending time with them talking and playing cards was probably the highlight of this weekend.Now that we are done with exams ,back to some gaming folks.

There are a few more,but that would make this blog never ending.Life has been more like a roller coaster .After every low there comes a new high.But then as some one has said once, you have to experience both sides of a coin to appreciate and enjoy the better side even more.The next week looks more promising .I will be back in Chennai to spend some time with the most craziest people in the world.Anyways this post was just to update you guys with the fact that i am alive and the fun never ends.

Lazy Blogger

Sweet Taste Of Liberty

hi guys
This year of my college life is different.How??? I moved out of college campus ,rented an apartment with 3 of my friends and that's pretty much it.

About my campus life :I loved every minute of it and I learnt a lot. Its crazy how I love that place now and  had to leave it so soon but honestly I try not to think about it that way . You don't need everyday to be exciting, sometimes you need to sit back and look at the exciting and smile and enjoy the way the world works around you. Normal but still fascinating, sometimes the best moments are with no talks, windows down and old music playing on the stereo.This is what my campus life means to me.  Anyway, this is long and i'll stop. 

Off campus experience:  Lost? Where am i? What adventures ? All valid questions and I am here to answer it all. This 1 month, I traveled up down, I stayed in a HOME and lived life like a regular high school student and honestly it was pretty epic. I deepened some friendships, discovered the city I have lived in for the past 2 years and did some pretty fun stuff. 

The morning of the first day was rough , waking up to clean up I just fell out of it.So that week I decided to get more healthy, so I started sleeping for 8 hours and  tried to cook different healthy stuff. Its been mixed, being a student cooking options in a budget get pretty slim and sleep okay that I am doing a lot off.   Anyway the week was a drag, at night we got ourselves something to eat and drink and a game or two of the football world cup. It was a great "bonding of the week" moment. Weekends  were much better, we woke up, decided we needed to be a little productive so we took a shower and ate some breakfast and decided to go home shopping. That was a brilliant idea and I liked my first experience buying stuff in the supermarket.  

So after a weekend I was never going to forget it was time to saddle back into a fresh week.Its weird how so often a great weekend is often followed by a weird one. So classes are getting way more intense ,apart from the one class in math all my classes are pretty challenging and hard. Its definitely an interesting mix made spicier for the brain with the antenna and microprocessor  in there(nerd alert).But honestly being here on weekends has helped me buckle down and get some serious work done and now things definitely seem better.

Anyway I have blabbered along for too long. The next  week is looking promising already.So that should be great. Everyday is different some good, some yucks and some just normal. It is what makes life flavorful and exciting.

a blogger

The Guy

Hey,

It's been a while since my first post. 

So this post is because of a conversation I had with a very special person the other day about my first blog.After a number of positive reviews,there was this guy,"The Guy" who tells me ,"what have you written,u could use better and simple English ,what about your punctuation and grammar have you forgotten the basics and when are you gonna make the changes i suggested better do it fast,here see this blog how simple and beautiful it is..."

After a bad day when you decide to find respite in something the last thing that you want is someone telling you  that you ain't good enough in that..
Feelings and emotions can sometimes be helpful . They make you feel weak, vulnerable, frustrated and just confused as to why you feel the way you do. You feel you deserved better than that. But we need to realize that situations change, you did not feel that way before because you never were put in that circumstance, but trust  me you feeling that way is perfectly natural.
The great thing about those feelings is that  it's because of a person , it's because he or she is that special to make you feel that they do care for you. That is a good thing most of the time. To have someone to feel that way  is beautiful. You realize this when you think about all the memories and good times you guys shared to feel that close to each other and how it was different before you met. So yeah at that present moment, you may feel confused and frustrated but it only shows they care. Don't be scared to let the other person know how you feel because you might be surprised with the reaction.There have to be bad moments to make the good ones seem amazing.And so i hope that there is this "The Guy" in every aspect of everyone's life.

A Thoughful blogger

The Pilot

hey guys,

This is my first blog .I never had the idea of penning down my experiences in a diary,so this is my first attempt to document kinda what i do everyday.My name is Atmesh Agarwal and I hail from the magical land of India . I do have a bunch of hobbies.

From high school people told me I was a jack of all trades since I liked to dabble little into what i would say everything. I mean come on who settles for a vanilla when you can get a taste of all the flavors. The moment I saw someone doing something  I'd want to do it. So yes  I did it, I mean I was bad at it  but dude I tried.

 I was lucky to be born into the family I was born into where all that was important was to love. Anyway growing up in Chennai in one of the best schools wasn't too bad.At school  I met some of the biggest fanatics who rephrased themselves to be my close friends, friends who define  who I am now and friends who taught me "har ek friend zaroori hota hain". We did the things which are classified as craziest by the dictionary, maybe some days when I have nothing to blog , blog about some of our stories. so yeah, now I study at sastra university.

A pretty tough step, if you ask me. But this has been one of my biggest and most fruitful,most enjoyable adventures. The comfort zone was removed and it was time for me to take my first flight into the engineering world. I have grown exponentially through this flight, I miss home but this is the place  for me . I have done some things I thought I ain't capable of, met people who have surprised me and  learnt lessons I will never forget.

I am starting this blog today as I am ready to mark on another adventure of mine as i continue my studies. I would  share things I see  and experiences I undergo on my adventures . I let my  thoughts run free and lets see what I have at the end of it. Anyway i am excited to  be doing this and I will blog as often as I can . Do remember  that life has been more of a see-saw with ups and downs ....

learning blogger